Can any woman squirt? by Pixie (also check out part 1, part 2, and part 3)
In my last blog, I gave answers for some frequently asked questions about squirting, and came it to a question that needed a whole post to itself. This blog continues the conversation.
Can any woman or vagina-haver do it? And how to I make myself/my girlfriend do it?
First of all, I don’t want to hear any of you criticizing a woman for not being able to squirt. “Oh, you just haven’t had the right partner yet.” Shut the hell up. Male-bodied people, you may have made all your female-bodied partners squirt, but until you’ve slept with every woman in the world, sit down and shut up. Female-bodied people, we already get enough shit from the rest of the world, let’s not give it to each other as well.
What Else Should I Know About Squirting?
Second, even if every woman can theoretically squirt (which there’s no evidence to prove), there are a lot of barriers.
- Shame and guilt. The occasional person has found a way to get arousal from shame, and frankly, I envy their coping skills, but for the most of us, shame is an immediate turn off. In my experience, squirting happens near the peak of arousal. If there’s fear or uncertainty or shame or guilt in there, the arousal gets shut down and you just won’t reach the level needed for a good gush.
- There’s this huge cultural taboo around women masturbating or generally understanding/accepting their sexuality. Only about 40% of women masturbate regularly, which means they have a drastically reduced opportunity to discover things about themselves.
- For many women, the moments before a gush feel like they need to pee. Now, on me, the sensation is just different enough that I recognize it. But it’s close enough to understand the confusion. Many women experience worry that they’re about to urinate all over their partners and clam up and rush to the bathroom. By the time hey get done, the moment has passed.
A Moment To Touch On Misinformation
Third, it’s perfectly possible to go to the other extreme. Occasionally, I’ve spoken with someone who had dealt with all her background misinformation and decided squirting was something she really really wanted to do. And suddenly there’s pressure to perform. Because we all know exactly how sexy that is.
So don’t judge women too harshly for not squirting. We have a lot of shame and fear to deal with and overcome. Also, if your goal is to get your partner to squirt, putting pressure on them will do exactly nothing to help.
My advice? Chill out. Realize that it is a good, healthy thing, but don’t nag yourself about getting there. Just keep an eye out for that “I have to pee” feeling in the middle of sexy times, and let it ride.
With that really long user warning, here’s my squirting 101.
- Pee first. Especially if you’re self-conscious about the urine thing. It can’t be pee because you just went.
- Put down a towel or two. Knowing that the clean up will be simple and painless makes it that much easier to relax.
- Get turned on. Whatever tickles your fancy – candles, baths, oils, rope, leather, bruises. You do you.
- Find the G-spot. It’ll be about 2-3 knuckles in, on the wall towards your stomach. On me, it feels like an egg-shaped spongy bit. And just… fiddle with it. Does it like to be stroked gently? Tapped? Circled? Vibrated? Some of my lady friends like a little finger flutter on the G-spot. Others want to be basically hauled up by the pelvis. Figure out what works for you and your body.
- If/when you get a feeling like pressure building, sort of like you have to pee, don’t worry about it. Focus on how good your body feels or whatever porn you happen to like.
- Enjoy!
Can Any Woman Squirt – Final Notes
If you think squirting is going to be part of your sex life for a while (or you’re like me and occasionally release ridiculous amounts of fluid), additional preparation might be in order. Some people use rubber sheets; they’re portable if you’re moving around and relatively inexpensive. You can go with that or other waterproof mattress protector options, but I’m not a huge fan of massive puddles on my bed. Personally, I’ve used an absorbent mattress pad for years. They’re usually sold with the intention of lengthening the life of your mattress, and sit like a second fitted sheet under your regular fitted sheet. Even with my outlandish squirting amounts, I’ve never soaked through mine, and it’s super easy to just strip it off the bed and throw it in the washer when I’m done with it.
That’s all for now guys. Happy sexing!
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